Capt. Spastic's Jell-O-Rama Explosion and Super Secret All Purpose Sauce Journal

It's Krampus Time!

2009-12-18T03:40:01Z

Today in Twitterisms

2009-12-18T03:32:32Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

13:01 YouTube video leads to Hollywood contract chilp.it/e8e1d8 Pretty amazing! #

13:08 Again... FaceBook sucking raw ass today! More and more everyday, I get one step closer to not using it anymore. Fucking Facebook! #

13:55 Ok, I'm a bit miffed. Why has no one told me about this band? Gogol Bordello. Man, what great stuff! #

20:55 Admit it... you want some Schweddy Balls. Don't you? No one can resist Schweddy Balls! #

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Tuesday Night at the Armadillo Bazaar

2009-12-15T04:10:52Z

Ok folks, while the Armadillo Bazaar had to kick off this weekend with the WONDERFUL Eliza Gilkyson on Saturday, sadly, I had to miss it.

However, things are rolling up & heating up again tomorrow night with The Gourds.

Who's going? I'll be there! You should be too!

Me-Spam

2009-12-12T05:04:36Z

I'm sorry, but I just have to ask this...

You ever see those spams where the From person is "me"?

I mean, does anyone ever fall for that?

"Oooo, look it this... I must have really thought I needed a penis enlarger. So much that I mailed myself a special offer on one"

"Wasn't it considerate of me to send myself this great deal on identity theft protection. But isn't it odd I would be asking me to send myself my own social security number?" I mean, wouldn't I know it?

1965 Anti-Pornography Propaganda film

2009-12-12T04:21:17Z

This stuff is so disgusting, we're going to shot you picture, after picture, after picture of it, just so you'll be able to identify it.

Two Pictures...

2009-12-12T02:56:38Z

Of the EXACT same thing:

Ouch!

2009-12-04T05:28:30Z

From the Wrong Thing to Use as Bait category...

Carolyn Wonderland & Guy Forsyth... Together at One World Theater

2009-11-30T01:43:58Z

Ok, so Wednesday December 9th, Guy & Carolyn are doing 2 shows at One World Theater.

If you've ever seen these 2 separately, you know what great & powerful singers they are. Hearing them together, will be nothing short a little slice of heaven.

I'm going. If you want to go too, let me know. I'm ordering tickets.

You will be very sad if you miss this show. You can bet on it.

Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-29T15:10:06Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

09:28 Breakfast this morning: Cheesecake. :-D #

10:32 @Kaleyhall Chocolate Pie was yesterday. :-D #

14:06 twitpic.com/rcfh0 Beer @ Rovers discussing the advances of recycled beer bottle shanks. is.gd/564Ci #

14:57 @vanetti OMG! Like you could keep me away? I accepted you FB invite weeks ago & am skipping Guy Forsyth to see you guys. :-P #

14:59 @reani
mated He's a great choice. I'd vote for him. #

17:27 @renegade500 If you find one let me know. Going to see my friends band at Red Eye too. If you wanna cone. #

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Where's Your Armadillo? At The Bazaar of Course!

2009-11-28T16:04:39Z

It's the time of year again, and The Armadillo Christmas Bazaar is about to roll it's way in the Austin Convention Center again.

If you've never been to the Bazaar before, you really should go. It's a Austin experience that offers some of the best holiday shopping music, some of the most unique gifts you can find anywhere, and you can drink while shopping & listening. If there's anyway to beat that, I don't know how.

Some of the performance highlights, not to be missed this year:

Saturday, December 12, 2009
Ian McLagan & The Bump Band - 12:00 to 2:30PM
Toni Price - 3:30 to 6:00PM
Eliza Gilkyson - 8:00 to 11:00PM

Sunday, December 13, 2009
Austin Lounge Lizards - 12:00 to 2:30PM
Brave Combo - 3:30 to 6:00PM
Cienfuegos - 8:00 to 11:00PM

Monday, December 14, 2009
Kalu James - 12:00 to 2:30PM
W.C. Clark - 8:00 to 11:00PM

Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Kat Edmonson - 12:00 to 2:30PM
The Gourds - 8:00 to 11:00PM

Thursday, December 17, 2009
Suzanna Choffel - 12:00 to 2:30PM
Marcia Ball & Pianorama - 8:00 to 11:00PM

Saturday, December 19, 2009
Band of Heathens - 12:00 to 2:30PM
Terri Hendrix - 3:30 to 6:00PM
Van Wilks - 8:00 to 11:00PM

Monday, December 21, 2009
The Biscuit Brothers - 12:00 to 2:30PM
Blazing Bows - 3:00 to 3:30PM
Joe McDermott - 3:30 to 6:00PM
The Eggmen - 8:00 to 11:00PM

Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Dustin Welch - 12:00 to 2:30PM
Warren Hood - 3:30 to 6:00PM
Albert & Gage - 8:00 to 11:00PM

Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Shelley King - 12:00 to 2:30PM
Guy Forsyth - 3:30 to 6:00PM
Carolyn Wonderland - 8:00 to 11:00PM

Thursday, December 24, 2009
Slim Richey - 12:00 to 2:30PM
Greezy Wheels - 3:30 to 6:00PM
Texana Dames - 8:00 to 11:00PM

As you can see, this years line up is STELLAR! (Full Schedule here: http://www.armadillobazaar.com/armadillo_bazaar_music.html)

So in other words, I'll be spending a LOT of time at the Armadillo Bazaar this year. And you should be too!

Happy Holidays everyone!

Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-28T15:08:29Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

09:10 Is pie for breakfast wrong? #

09:11 @kitoconnell Sadly, she didn't linger. Just a passing wave of beauty. #

09:12 @vanetti I'd say that definitely puts you in the running. :-D #

09:14 @hojolovesyou He doth look not amused. #

09:15 @Kaleyhall Ooo, that looked tummy! #

09:16 @vanetti Where were you guys at? #

09:17 @vanetti We must save the starving vaginas! #

10:18 Are you on Google Latitude? I am. Follow me. chilp.it/?2df045 #

11:23 twitpic.com/r6kft Mmm, breakfast! is.gd/54Mjd Yes, you're jealous! :-P #

11:42 @renegade500 Aw man, I wished I'd had known you were going. Haven't been this year, and it's no fun b
y yourself. :-( #

12:01 @ omarg Can't DM you when you aren't following. captspastic@gmail.com #

13:26 So what's any & every body up to, tonight in this berg? Holiday wknd with time off. I'm up for anything. No 1 said it had to be legal. :-P #

13:28 @vanetti You guys went again last night? Aw man. wished I'd known. Could have came last night! Going tonight? #

13:46 @vanetti Oh poo! :-P #

15:54 @
vanetti @hojolovesyou Lush #1 says tell me where! #

16:01 @chocotaku LOLZ! #

16:12 @adamlunceford Best sweet so far on Tiger: I wonder is he yelled' FORE' prior to the crash? LOL! #

16:21 @adamlunceford Think about this. In the 1950's it would have been Negro Shopping Day. In the south, that term would differ slightly. :-P #

16:25 @vanetti Oh you said GREY! :-P #

18:43 Alright people, it's Friday night, isn't anyone up for a movie, some music, SOMETHING? If you make me got to Rovers by myself, well I will! #

19:14 @suzieboz Que? What do you mean? #

19:15 @vanetti YOUR bar? You mean Ego's? #

22:19 The most boring Friday night ever! #

08:41 @hojolovesyou That was pretty dead on! #

08:43 RT @UT_Tower_Clock: "Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong" LOL! Funniest twitter account yet. #

09:00 Watching War Inc. on Showtime... how did I miss this movie? So far, it's GREAT! It's like Bush's Iraq war with Dan Akroyd as Cheney #

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Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-27T15:09:31Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

10:02 OMFG! Internet connection sucks ASS this morning. Thanks again Time Warner Cable! #timewarnersucks #

10:10 Happy Thanksgiving to you & yours. Remember the 1 thing we have to be most thankful for. Not have G.W. Bush as President! #

13:28 @iamsammy I think you have to turn in your penis for that. :p #

13:30 Turkey about halfway done. Dressing in progress. Might be time for a glass of wine? I think so! #

17:05 OMG! I'm so full So much food. So many leftovers. Taking a pecan pie to Rovers later. Come
get some! twitpic.com/r2w8j #

19:05 How could thanksgiving get any better? SuperTroopers on IFC! #

19:52 At Rovers watching UT whip up on the Aggies. This just in, I'm still stuffed. #

20:14 @DavidHoustonVO Bitter old man voice coming through loud & clear. LOL. Just wait until they are on their 3rd divorce. #

20:35 @kitoconnell Back at ya bud! #

20:3
8 @renegade500 Am here now. LOL What a day! #

20:41 @vanetti Eat it... just eat it. Weird Al KNEW! #

20:46 @vanetti 28 - 21 #

21:07 UT... WTF? #

21:41 @vanetti 35 - 24 right now #

21:43 @DavidHoustonVO Esp. when it's AGGIE tonsil hockey. Yeah! I don't want to see
a guy kissing his sister.! #

21:53 @vanetti 35 - 32 now. Extremely tight game. #

22:00 @vanetti 42 - 32 now. #

22:10 @DavidHoustonVO Agreed #

22:17 Great return! #longhorns #

22:38 Final score UT 49 A&M 39 #LONGHORNS #

23:07 Gawd damn, I DO love re
d heads! (DROOL!) #

23:08 (Last Tweet prompted by a red head with a FINE ass!) #

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Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T16:18:39Z

It's that time of year again folks, to count your blessings, and reflect on what you have to be thankful for.

While it may seem there's not a lot in that category right now. Just remember, it could always be worse too.

A lot has happened this past year, I think for pretty much everyone, unless you're a tea-bagger or been living under a rock. Although, those two are VERY similar. Living under a rock, dumb as a rock... such a fine line.

Some good, some bad. No matter what though,we're all still here, with our heads above ground.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours today and the best coming into the Holiday Season.

Even though many of us have some periods where it hasn't been the best of years, remember this if nothing else...

After all, at least we don't have George W. Bush as president anymore.
If that doesn't make this the best Thanksgiving EVER, I know little else that would.

Well, maybe other than an ADEQUATE healthcare bill passing.
Hear that democrats?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone & much love to you all.

Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-26T15:11:23Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

13:20 Starting my Thanksgiving Holiday in T-Minus 10 minutes & counting! YAY! I think Margarita's are good kick-off beverages. Don't you? #

14:07 HOLEEE FUCK MoPac! 2 PM & the traffic sucks already! is.gd/53C84 #

14:10 @renegade500 OMW right now! #

14:18 @renegade500 Yeah, well take a number. The. numbers in that category grow everyday. :-P is.gd/53CxU #

14:20 @omarg Well, hope springs eternal. LOL! #

14:22 @hojolovesyou Yes... yes I am. Ya have to be good at SOMETHING! #

14:26 @renegade500 LOVE the support of my friends. Akin to a jock strap laced with chili powder. LOL! is.gd/53COt #

15:07 @renegade500 I prefer to think of it as karmic intervention. Ha! #

15:11 twitpic.com/qwytn Mom & me with my margarita @ #
jardincarona #

15:30 Thinking about Antone's tonight for Carolyn Wondered & Pinetop Perkins. #

15:39 @reanimated VERY! At least as far as drives go, you're not going that far. #

17:08 The reason so many marry in Vegas... Because marriage/relationships are at their best... a crap-shoot. It's a fact! is.gd/53HZS #

19:18 @omarg I got $50 on I-35. :-P #

19:19 @katebuckjr Aw, why do that? :-( #

20:07 twitpic.com/qya2x Cherry bernaise sauce, in works. Cornbread in the oven. is.gd/53Mvo #

20:43 Damn it! Out of flour! Quick HEB run. Anyone need anything? :-P is.gd/53Nj0 #

21:59 twitpic.com/qyqie Pecan Pie 1... AWAY! #

23:29 @omarg Oh that's ok. I know where I-35 is. :p #

23:47 Huh... who knew Jack of the In The Boxes... had a sex change operation. Who knew? #

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Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-25T15:09:52Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

10:51 tinyurl.com/ybwtpll - These... THINGS give douche-bag ass-clowns... #

16:08 OMFG! It gets hot & stuffy in this office in the afternoon during winter. Ugh! I should NOT be sweating in late fall, inside a building! #

18:29 @genedeanna You can send a txt to turn off & on whenever you would like. is.gd/52XDr #

18:31 RT @bevobeat: "Let me stop laughing first, @ddmolina: Is there truth to rumor Norte Dame has approached Mack Brown & will double his $$$$?" #

18:33 @hojolovesyou THE Bree? Haven't seen or talked to her in ages. Tell her Hi! #

18:59 @vanetti That's a first. Chicken butt tweets. #

19:05 @DavidHoustonVO Couldn't agree more. #

20:03 @vanetti I wish I was good enough to hang with the cool kids! :-( #

20:04 @hojolovesyou Who has been spreading such vicious l
ies? #

20:08 @vanetti Dame it! Working on the turkey. You saw my invite right? #

21:59 @omarg Wow! Let's keep that trend going! :-D #

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An Embaressment & Adbomination

2009-11-24T16:59:59Z

Because the embed feature NEVER works anymore (Thanks LJ for charging for your crap-shit service ONCE again): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl5Jo0GnX-k&feature=player_embedded

Huffpost article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/23/tea-party-patriots-attack_n_367475.html

These... THINGS give douche-bag ass-clowns a bad name.

Disgraceful! Utterly and absolutely disgraceful!

Laughing at a dead mother and baby. "Piece of shit" is too good for these scum of human waster.

Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-24T15:10:08Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

21:04 Beginning Thanksgiving Turkey prep, in... 3...2...1! twitpic.com/qpl4g #

08:13 In case you haven't heard, snow possible by Monday. is.gd/52CxR #

08:17 2 shows coming to Paramount, really want to see: Tuna Does Vegas & Don Rickles. is.gd/52CJO #

08:24 @DavidHoustonVO According to KUT's News8 weather, yes. #

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Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-23T15:10:15Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

09:02 Man, do I LOVE short weeks! Can I get a Turkey Time He'll Yeah? #

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Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-22T15:09:38Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

09:31 Why is it SO difficult to find a bar open at 8 AM in this town anymore? #

09:38 @yarnmammajez Not even that. You can start serving at 7 AM #

09:47 @yarnmammajez Just more evidence why Houston=FAIL! is.gd/50pcV #

12:02 Everyone's doing something today. @ Ruby Tequilia's having lunch before heading back. is.gd/50tci #

12:17 @DavidHoustonVO
There is such a simple, pure logic to that. is.gd/50tGj #

12:20 @statesman I thought that was an Onion story for a minute. is.gd/50tLu #

12:24 @KozmicFreeway PocketTwit does that when it can grab a GPS signal. #

12:46 You think you've heard everything, then your hear a Tejano version of Copacabana. Life never ceases to amaze me. is.gd/50uwR #

13:11 @yarnmammajez I have! Grrrr! #

18:29 Thinking very seriously about going to Threadgills South tonight for James McMusrtry CD release party. #

20:32 30 Rock... The Best Show You're Not Watching, But Should Be. #

20:35 @DavidHoustonVO I do not understand why this show isn't more popular. Hilarious and well written. #

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Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-21T15:07:18Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

09:51 If anyone in Houston is NW (Dacoma/290 area) @ lunch & would like to eat, shoot me a msg or txt. #

12:41 Someone help me out here... why would you have server install disks that AREN'T bootable? Anyone? #

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Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-20T15:10:39Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

09:19 @yarnmammajez Oh! Was one os those implied things? Thought it was just a general request. :-P #

10:27 @asylumstreet How can you stand the stench? Of Sarah Palin, not Michigan. #

15:07 Well, to Houston for me tomorrow folks. Anyone up for drinks or a happy hour or 3? :p #

18:41 @kitoconnell I'll give you a holler. We have to get together. #

18:45 Having a beer, waiting on Zappa PZ. Squee! is.gd/4ZdgW #

18:58 Oh man. Austin Amber back on tap It's going to be a GREAT night. is.gd/4ZdEJ #

19:06 Wow. nothing is worse that bitches with dicks. Whiner! is.gd/4ZdEJ #

20:05 Oh yeah, it's time! FUCKIN' A! The best musicc ever, because music is the best! is.gd/4ZfRu #

20:10 twitpic.com/q6ckp FUCK YES APOSTROPHE! #

20:23 twitpic.com/q6ekt Bamboozled! is.gd/4ZgtR #

20:53 This... twitpic.com/q6ird Is music! is.gd/4Zhj4 #

21:34 twitpic.com/q6oe0 Eric Johnson & Dweezil Zappa! FUCK! is.gd/4ZiwW #

21:47 twitpic.com/q6q5a Greatest show ever! is.gd/4ZiSc #

22:02 twitpic.com/q6scv<
/a> Great fucking show! #

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If...

2009-11-19T15:52:57Z

you have one of these.... Just..... don't even talk to me.

Because it will most assuredly end in a fight.

Just go away, and for the sake of all that is TRULY good, don't fucking breed!

Today in Twitterisms

2009-11-19T15:10:44Z

And now, for today's Tweets:

15:01 @vanetti Ya'll #

15:10 @omarg Come on now, don't be so harsh. You were a teen-age girl once. :-P #

16:53 RT @JamesMcMurtry: "Continental Club tonight, Waterloo Records in-store tomorrow at 5pm. fb.me/35VD5L5" Yay! #

20:28 @vanetti And a yawl is a boat. :-P #

06:36 Tonight at Stubb's! DWEEZIL ZAPPA PLAYS ZAPPA chilp.it/?34aabc SQUEE! #

07:27 Rachel Maddow, Frank Schaeffer Discuss The Latest In Thinly-Veiled Evangelical Christian Obama Death Threats chilp.it/?6cf6ca #

08:59 @kitoconnell Hook me up with a Wave invite. :-D is.gd/4YOPO #

09:06 @michellegreer Funny, my everyday life is like that. :-P #

09:10 @yarnmammajez Fresh out. #

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When a TRUE Christian Goes "Rogue" Part II

2009-11-19T13:35:21Z

Because with MSNBC or LiveJournal isn't handling embedded links properly"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/18/rachel-maddow-frank-schae_n_362415.html

When a TRUE Christian Goes "Rogue"

2009-11-19T13:33:47Z

Yeah, it's the "christian" thing to do.
This is EXACTLY what Jesus would do. Exactly.

These fucking assholes have never personally cracked open a Bible, and probably fewer can even SPELL bible.

These selfish, self-entitled, full of themselves assholes would be EXACTLY the kind of people Jesus campaigned against and would have run from the temple. When you use god's name in a political agenda, the very LAST thing you are... is Christian.

How nut bag are you, when one of the LEADERS of the religious movement calls you deluded and crazy? WOW! What he is saying is 100% right on the mark. These assholes ARE the American version of the Taliban. Certain people have been saying this for YEARS now.

Honestly, if these people don't scare the living hell out of you, you're either NOT paying attention or there is something VERY wrong with you.

Even _I_, as much as I hate and despise George W. Bush, never would have dreamed of calling for or wishing for his death.